Food, duvet, wipes… Projectiles vary depending on what our son has on hand.
But why does he have the annoying habit of throwing everything away? Is it provocation, impulsiveness, game? Explanations with Florence Millot, child psychologist.
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Why does the baby throw it all away?
When you baby drop something, the explanation varies depending on the intention. But to figure it out, it’s usually just a matter of looking at your child’s face and attitude.
Does he laugh, seems to enjoy it, or is he angry or crying? Throwing everything on the floor is also a fun game for most children.
From 9 months, when her baby throws her teddy and does it with a beaming smile, or even laughs when you pick it up (already thinking about your next pitch), this action simply gives you happiness.
He likes to play with you. «The father doesn’t necessarily understand it because every time he picks it up, the child throws it away again» analyzes Florence Millot, child psychologist and author of «One problem, 7 solutions: My son does not obey» (Hachette Family).
the reel game
A process that the psychoanalyst Freud called in 1920 the «reel game» (or Fort-Da experiment). He had noticed that his one and a half year old grandson, who had a coil of wire, liked to toss it and pull the wire back.
«A joyous and repetitive process for the child who feels that he has dominated his world, that he has power over things or over his parents every time the object he has just thrown is returned to him» deciphers Florence Millot.
A way to control when his mother leaves and when she returns, to tame him, who is usually passive in the situation, not knowing when his father or mother will reappear and take care of him. With the launch of the stuffed animal, he decides the moment.
Finally, when the child drops whatever he is grabbing – cotton balls, wipes – from his changing table, it is simply a reflex to grab and manipulate the objects within his reach.
This usually causes an involuntary fall, the baby is simply clumsy and when he drops the object (which he never keeps for a long time), he falls.
Until what age does the baby throw everything on the floor?
When a child inadvertently drops objects after they have ceased to interest him, this usually occurs between 6 and 12 months of age.
From 10 to 12 months of age, the child will begin to introduce throwing of the teddythe pacifier, the toy with he father and will leave throwing everything on the ground at around 24 months of age.
The food can be thrown away for a few more months, but it usually stops around 2 1/2 years.
Finally, when the throwing of objects is the consequence of an impulsive behavior of the child who does not find another way to express his anger, it usually stops around 4 years of age.
Why is my baby dropping his food on the floor?
When the child learns to eat on his own, around 1 and a half years old, he will often begin to throw away your food. the mash and the spoon they fly in fireworks for the greatest happiness of your cherub, to the angels.
This is a time when your baby also likes to remove his diaper before tossing him into the air.
«It’s an age when parents begin to teach their children to be clean, while they love to play with dirty things, put their hands on them, extend them... putting them everywhere gives them real joy«, says the psychologist. And all you have to do is look at his funny little face to see for yourself.
According to Florence Millot, this shooting pleasure is in fact he result of a archaic reflex. An attitude that we maintain into adulthood through the release of confetti, which is always associated with a festive event.
The baby throws his teddy out of bed
Does your child throw his stuffed animal or pacifier out of his bed? after you say «good night» and is about to leave your room? Maybe he’s just trying to keep you and this is the way he’s found to do it.
«This technique is effective since the father feels trapped, forced to play, especially if the child needs the stuffed animal next to him to fall asleep», says Florence Millot.
The baby throws it all away: is it to express his anger?
The plane can also translate another archaic anger-induced gesture. But if we have learned, as adults, to control our emotions and dialogue, we have all (almost) slammed the door or thrown a pen on the floor in anger.
«The child acts impulsively and often lacks the words to express it, thinking that by throwing an object, his anger will disappear with it, as if by magic,» explains the psychologist.
Sometimes also she will throw her stuffed animal or doll to the ground to show his discontent or jealousy towards his little brother, for example, in an attempt to get rid of him, to keep him away.
How do we make him understand that he shouldn’t throw it away?
When your child throws something because it is angry, can explain that he understands his anger and his need to express it, but that not everything and nothing is thrown away.
Especially when the object is fragile or dangerous. Alternatively, you can bring him a small basket containing a few pairs of socks and let him throw them around as much as he wants. And why not do it with him? His crying should turn to laughter more quickly.
Does he throw to try to keep you by his side to bedtime?
If you’ve already given him back his pacifier and warned him that if he continues, it’s up to him to pick it up, he should end up doing it on his own, haphazardly.
If he can’t, while he’s in his crib, warn him that you won’t pick him up anymore and leave his room for a while. Then you will understand that if he does it again, you will have to wait to pick it up.
To avoid this type of attack, there is also a trick: hook pacifiers, or even your stuffed animal to the bars of the bed.
In the case of foodcalmly explain to him that it should not be thrown away.
Florence Millot’s tip: Limit the amount on your plate to a small mashed potato and serve as you go.
This will reduce the damage and irritation it can cause. Still stands? Put the spoon back or move the plate away so that he understands that his action has had a consequence: he can no longer eat alone.
After a few bites, you can feed them back. The idea: set up a mini trust contract warning you that if you do it again, we’ll get them back.
If you’re really feeling tense about the mash, why not invest in a bottle and a spoon? The puree is poured into the bottle and the container is squeezed to fill your spoon which you can then eat clean as one big.
At the same time, to satisfy his need to manipulate, do not hesitate to propose activities around modeling clay or paint, this will also allow him to better distinguish between playtime and mealtime.
Then you can dedicate yourself to your favorite activity as you please! All that remains is to bring a waxed tablecloth and an apron for activities subject to artistic outbursts. «Have to understand that all young children do it at some point in their lives and without any desire to disturb you», concludes the child psychologist. It’s just a phase, messy or exhausting at times, but innocent… and fleeting!
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