por It’s important to know how to troubleshoot of the life, of couple, personal, work or family, since life usually goes through calm stages and stages with obstacles to overcome.
Emotional maturity means understanding that problems come and go and that the best way to deal with them is to accept them and find solutions, without wasting time complaining.
When a problem arises, there are three ways to solve it:
– impulsive: It is the easiest option and one that can be carried out in the short term. It will bring negative results, since there is no thought of other options that could be better, nor of the consequences of each one.
– avoidant: the problem is not addressed and is avoided. This way will also bring negative consequences, since the problem will not resolve itself.
– Rational: the person tries to define the problem, does not complain, focuses on the solution, generates alternative actions and takes one to finally solve the problem. This is the form that should be learned, it is the most adaptive and the one that will give the best results.
When a problem arises, it is normal to have a negative feeling: feeling sad or worried.
However, it begins to be maladaptive when it is given to it. laps to the problem days, months and even years, and they do not take decisions or are sought effective solutions.
The approach that will help you solve problems
The most correct, constructive approach that will give infinitely better results for life is the opposite of focusing on the problem: it is focusing on the solution of the problem.
If you take this approach every time a problem arises, you can solve them faster and more effectively, and you will also get better results.
What many people do is:
1) THE PROBLEM ARISES -> 2) WORRIES, 3) COMPLAINS, 4) THINKS ABOUT THE PROBLEM AND ITS NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES
The most adaptive to have a better quality of life is:
1) THE PROBLEM ARISES -> 2) THINK ABOUT THE SOLUTIONS AND ACT
Things to remember to better solve problems
There are several aspects of troubleshooting that are worth knowing:
– Problems are common and will be encountered throughout life.
There will be times with more and others with less, although it will always be your own responsibility to choose:
a) Complain and leave the problem to be solved on its own or for someone to come and solve it.
b) Or solve them, putting the focus of attention on the solution.
When solving a problem, self-efficacy (belief that the problem can be solved and that actions will lead to the desired state or solution, self-esteem and self-confidence) will be very important.
– You cannot solve all problems alone and there will be people who can help in some cases.
– Differentiate urgent problems, in which a solution must be taken soon, from those that can be left for a little later.
– Challenge: if there is the belief that the problem is a challenge, there will be more motivation to search for a solution, action will be taken and it will be resolved sooner.
– Do not act impulsively. Some problems take time to resolve.
Troubleshooting Technique (4 steps)
With this troubleshooting technique you will learn to:
– Solve personal problems, couples, work and in general any problem.
– Making decisions: today people have so many options that this itself is problematic and causes stress. You can choose hundreds of careers, courses, where to live, which floor to choose…
– Treat psychological problems: in the world of professional psychology it is also a technique used to combat anxiety, depression, obesity, stress…
These are the 4 steps:
1. Identify the problem
It is essential to define the problem in precise terms if you want to take the best option to solve it and take solutions that are appropriate to it.
If a doctor knows what specific disease his patient has, he will be able to give him the most appropriate drug, but if he doesn’t know what disease it is, he will have thousands of drugs to choose from. It is the same with the problem and its solution.
You have to start by asking yourself specifically. For example, in the case of someone who feels unhappy about going to work every day:
– What is it that I don’t like about my job? Where? When? At what times of my work do I not feel well? What things do I like about my job? What are my thoughts in those moments? How can I feel better?
It will be necessary to come up with clear statements such as: «I don’t like my job when my boss talks to me aggressively.»
Information about the problem must be obtained, based on facts and described concretely.
Clarify it so that it is an objective problem, since one can have irrational ideas that do not correspond to reality. Someone may consider that being overweight is a problem, or that their partner does not pay attention to it, and that this does not correspond to reality.
What is the most important thing to solve? If, for example, it is considered that there are problems when speaking in public. Is it the tone of voice? Do you get nervous and don’t know what to say? Do you have negative thoughts? What favors the appearance of the problem?
2. Look for solutions
When looking for solutions, you should follow these principles:
– Act differently: if you try to solve the problem in the same way and you see that it does not work, it is best to change and try other ways to solve it.
– Get rid of the conventional: a problem can be solved in many ways and the best one does not have to be the one that has been learned by tradition.
– Brainstorming: launch all the ideas that come to mind. Think of all the options that arise, without evaluating them. By doing so, it will be an excuse to abandon or avoid the problem. Here it is important to be strong and not be influenced, in the event that someone says phrases like «that will not work.»
– Ask for help: if after a reasonable time no alternative is obtained, you can ask someone close to you or a professional for help.
If few alternatives have been generated, it is good to take some time and you can:
– Observe what actions have been taken by people in similar situations.
– Combine new alternatives and create a new one.
– Each alternative can be divided into specific behaviors.
What have you done in similar situations?
3. Decision making
Once all the solutions that have emerged are available, they will be evaluated and a decision will be made, choosing the most viable and the one that provides the most benefits.
To know which option to choose from all the alternatives generated, you can go to the following criteria:
– The alternative that best solves the problem.
– The alternative that requires less effort and less time.
– The one that generates the greatest emotional well-being, in the person himself and in others.
Also keep in mind that you don’t have to limit yourself to a single solution, and you can choose two or a combination of two or three.
4. Action and results
This step is the realization of the concrete action and it is advisable to take into account the following points:
– In some cases, an alternative will have been chosen in which it will be necessary to train. If, for example, the problem is that work does not bring happiness, and the alternative of starting a business has been taken, but you do not have experience and do not know how, you will have to train before taking action. You can also take action and learn on your own, although this last option is not applicable in all cases.
– Observe yourself while the action is being carried out, this will serve to correct what is considered to be improved, and do it differently in the future.
– Evaluation: when the action that leads to the solution of the problem has finished, the person must evaluate the results themselves. If she believes that she has made a mistake, she must determine what it is and correct it with another action. If you have done everything right, it is advisable to give yourself a reward (or self-reinforcement) to consolidate that form of behavior.
– The reward or self-reinforcement is essential to establish this way of taking solutions as a permanent behavior. It can be done with self-praise (for example: «I did very well, I did very well, I’m proud of myself») or with external rewards, such as a good dinner or a trip to the movies.