12 julio, 2024

How is self-esteem developed?

self esteem develops during childhood and adolescence. In this period, the individual begins to compare his real self with the ideal self, and with all those around him.

Self-esteem is the ability we have to value our abilities to the proper extent, to accept ourselves as we are and to love ourselves with all our human characteristics.

Self-esteem is related to the self-concept that we all have of ourselves. Self-concept is how we see ourselves in all spheres of life: intellectual, physical, relational, personality, etc.

The way we interpret and value that self-concept has a lot to do with healthy self-esteem or not. To the extent that we judge and value ourselves fairly, accepting both positive and negative things, strengths and weaknesses as a whole, we will have a stronger self-esteem.

How does self-esteem form?

Self-esteem is linked to the self-knowledge of the person. This is something that the individual, through his own experience and feelings, develops throughout his life.

The child is not born with developed self-esteem, he acquires it over time, through the relationship with the environment and the effect that it has on him.

For the formation of self-esteem, the education that the child receives is essential, and this appears from the educational styles that occur in the family. For this reason, the establishment of norms is, for example, a fundamental axis in the education of self-esteem.

Next, we are going to analyze two crucial stages in the learning of the human being and in self-esteem:

In the childhood

From the moment you are born, you begin to form your self-concept. This is the beginning of the observation and analysis of his own body, where the person realizes that his body is made up of two arms, two legs and a head, among other parts.

It is time to verify that absolutely all individuals are different and that society itself establishes parameters where acceptances and rejections are created between people.

From this idea, the child begins to debate between being accepted or being rejected.

in adolescence

The search for one’s own identity is what makes the stage of adolescence the most difficult among all those that the human being develops throughout his life. Therefore, the support of their environment is necessary to forge an adequate self-esteem in their development.

A complete change is manifested, as the adolescent leaves home to seek his independence. Therefore, it is essential that self-esteem is worked on in childhood so that the young person can successfully pass this stage.

What influences the formation of self-esteem?

Criticism is, without a doubt, builders or destroyers of self-esteem, according to the case.

That is why other people are usually cited as those involved in this training, because, depending on the level of development of self-esteem, criticism affects one way or another.

Criticism is information that the person saves and evaluates, since they assume it as their own and, in one way or another, it affects them.

Undoubtedly, this utility can be both positive and negative. If it is negative, it can lead to disorienting the person, making them feel bad and generating insecurity.

How is self-esteem developed?

Within the development of self-esteem, the self-concept, which we already mentioned, is included as a fundamental component.

The possibility of forming a positive or negative self-esteem can always occur, since the individual is in continuous relationship with the environment. Self-esteem moves in the same contexts in which the person does, from the family to the school itself.

Therefore, its development is relevant, since it intervenes in the creation of the individual’s personality. If it is positive, it will favor the autonomy of the person and interpersonal relationships.

In addition, it also affects the suffering of the person in various situations, since it may be the case that negative self-esteem is generated, giving way to different disorders and behavioral problems, among others.

How is it possible to improve self-esteem?

Faced with low self-esteem, immediate action must be taken to improve it so that the person can lead a normal life. Therefore, a series of steps to follow to modify behavior in the face of negative self-esteem are proposed below:

From the negative to the positive

Change negative sentences, thoughts and sentences to positive ones:

“I am not able to do this” – “I need to prepare myself to do this”.

Stop generalization

People have flaws and, therefore, not all actions are negative, nor are they done in the same way. We cannot generalize behavior from specific actions. By generalizing, we lump together the good and the bad. You have to discern.

In the center of the positive

The positive must be paramount, since it must be appreciated and given value, since it is not advisable to subject all actions to constant evaluation.

This also means not continually judging yourself. We are human and we make mistakes. But we also move on.

Don’t use comparisons

The individual must be aware of his own characteristics. This is because each person has their own characteristic and limitations must be recognized, without making comparisons with others.

Comparisons establish superficial values, they do not go deep. In this sense, they do a lot of harm because attention is focused on the most visible. That is why you have to avoid them.

self confidence

Knowing our own limitations and strengths makes us develop more confidence in our abilities, in what can and cannot be done.

That is why it is so important to teach children from an early age to see their qualities, to accept their weaknesses and to improve them where possible.


FERRERAS MARRIED, E. (2007). The self-esteem. Annals of mechanics and electricity.

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